


The Things We Do

by ChristinaK



Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4540284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristinaK/pseuds/ChristinaK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation between two guys over some beers.  Some people have earned the right to be smug.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things We Do

**Author's Note:**

> For Soulcake and the Tsunami relief, again, because it ran too long to be a comment.

Richie is at one end of the bar, doing something very stupid for the sake of a pretty girl who likes Harleys. Specifically, he is animatedly bragging about his career racing motorbikes; the speed, the risk, the roar of the crowd. This would only be typical male boasting if it weren’t for the fact that he’s mentioned that he raced in France, and, of course, he _died_ racing in France. Any prolonged discussion of Richie’s motorbike career could get sticky.

Joe wants to go over there and remind Richie of this, and possibly avoid the development of an awkward situation. Adam is voting for letting him spiral into the inevitable bar-chat meltdown of embarrassment and over-explanation when Richie remembers how his career ended, partly because it would be good for him, but mostly because Adam had no success in chatting up the girl in question a little earlier in the evening. 

“C’mon, it’s not like either of us hasn’t shown off for the sake of a woman.” Joe polishes one of the beer steins and cocks an eyebrow at Methos, who takes a long pull of his lager and shakes his head. “We all do stuff when we’re young.”

“And stupid. Don’t forget stupid.”

“I’m pulling him over, reminding him of what happened in Paris.”

“Oh, let him deal with the consequences of his actions, will you? It’s not a matter of life and death.” Adam moodily pulls the label off his bottle. “Besides, he won’t thank you. He either flies or dies now. I’ve seen the signs. If he doesn’t get her number in the next five minutes, catastrophic social collapse is only moments away.”

“You’re all heart.” Joe shakes his head, puts the stein back on the shelf. “Seriously, you must have done something stupid for a woman before.”

“I learned better a millennium ago. Older and wiser, remember?”

“Do not give me that. I don’t think we ever learn better when it comes to women. Look at MacLeod. How many times has Amanda gotten him jailed, killed, or publicly humiliated? And he’s got four centuries on Richie.”

“Don’t compare me to MacLeod, please. For stupid behavior on behalf of women, he’s in a league all by himself.” Adam slouches a little further against the bar, then smiles evilly. “So. What was the stupidest thing you ever did for a woman?”

Joe turns around, pursing his lips, and hides a grin. “I’ll give up my worst moment, if you give up yours.”

“I’m not telling you the stupidest thing I ever did, but... I might tell you one of the stupidest.” Adam looks very smug, then thoughtful. “If you swear on your guitar that it won’t end up in a Watcher’s Chronicle somewhere.”

“Hunh.” Joe contemplates that for a moment, then shrugs. “What the hell. It was more than twenty years ago, now. And I’ve got blackmail material on all the witnesses.” He grimaces, then laughs softly, appearing a little embarrassed. “Marty VanMeter, music major at U of W. A blonde. What a blonde... This was a couple years after I got back from ‘Nam. So, she needs someone to act as accompaniment for a benefit concert she’s giving at the Conservatory. Black tie. Champagne. The works.”

“I think I see where this is going.”

Joe rolls his eyes. “Yeah. So I tell her sure, I know some Manilow. Who doesn’t? And yeah, I can back her up at the recital. I’ve got a tux. Then she tells me the scheduled date for the thing.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah. Two days. Less than that. I had 36 hours to learn all the arrangements for guitar for six damn cheesy Manilow songs. Nearly blistered my fingertips to the bone. Paid out a hundred dollars for the monkey suit.” He sighs, shakes his head. “Then she hooked up with some guy after the concert and the next time I hear from her, she’s inviting me to the engagement party.” He shrugs. “What the hell. I got two gigs and a handful of phone numbers out of it, at least.”

“You did better than I did. Well, except that I did marry mine.”

“Yeah?”

Adam glares at Joe. “Swear. On your guitar--”

“I swear, I swear.”

“Right.” Adam sighs. “Leilah. Wife number twenty-five. Incredible dancer. Gorgeous eyes. And her father was one of the town elders. A very rich man, and his son-in-law would have wealth, position... But there were certain requirements, in order for the marriage to be allowed.” He rubs his face, then laughs. “Served me right, I suppose.”

“So? What did you do?”

Adam takes a long drink to fortify himself. “Got circumcised.”

Joe stares at him a moment, then hoots. “Oh, man, I never thought about--”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t. It speaks well for you.” Adam shakes his head. “It was worse when it grew back, though. Try explaining that to your wife.”

“It did not.”

“Yes, it did.”

“You’re messing with me, I know better, you’re making this up--”

“Would you like to see the evidence?”

“No! And it wouldn’t prove jack if I did see it!”

Adam smirks and puts the empty bottle of beer down, grabbing his jacket. “Then I guess you’ll just have to take it on faith.”

“Yeah, right. Like everything else you say.”

Joe is still shaking his head as Adam gets up, walks to the end of the bar and claps Richie on the shoulder. “Tell her why you aren’t racing in France any more, Richie. Shockingly unfair, I call it.”

Richie’s eyes just have time to widen in realization as the girl asks, “Oh, what happened?” as Adam steps out of the bar, whistling.

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2005.


End file.
